笑话：朋友小孩半岁了，打电话去关心，

1、朋友小孩半岁了，打电话去关心，寒暄了两句后，来了一句：“你的小孩现在是吃人奶还是你的奶？”……

 

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2、有一老师通宵麻将，见黑板没擦，大怒：“今天谁做庄啊？黑板都不擦！”

 

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3、手机坏了，同事给临时用了个山寨手机，电梯中一堆人（背景），突然朋友发来一个黄段子，天杀的山寨手机居然有个语音读短信功能，高潮是我不会关闭这个坑爹的功能，满电梯的人都笑了

 

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4、俺碰到一个心仪已久的女孩从澡堂里出来，想套近乎，憋了半天憋出一句：“你洗澡啊，里面男的多不多啊？”

 

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5、A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man

 

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6、以前别人来我阿姨家作客，刚进门的。刚好我阿姨要去上厕所。她连忙招呼客人说：“你们坐哈坐哈，我去厕所给你们倒点茶喝！”

 

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7、上机课，一位同学机子有问题，于是大喊：“老板，换机子！”全班木然。

 

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8、我同事跟人争执，急了张口来了句：“你以为我吃饭长大的啊？”我一直纳闷他到底吃什么长大的。

 

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9、"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"
"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then

 

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10、有一次寝室里同学的老妈打电话过来,我习惯说“他不在”，但是这一次我想说的的是“已经出去了”。结果说出来是：“他已经……不在了……”

 

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